Mary Mary Quite Contrary!

How does your garden grow?
Anyone remember that nursery rhyme from when you were a kid? My mom used to read nursery rhymes to me all the time and I actually remember them from way back then! The reason I used that particular nursery rhyme is that is is Spring! Yep, and that means it is time to get out in the SUN, and plant your garden!
This year we have decided that we are going to try and make this farm pay for itself a little bit, and since we will have the Backwards Homestead totally paid off this summer, there is no time like the present to start some self sustaining projects like bigger gardens!
For several years now we have been fighting the same garden spot and the hard clay dirt that it contains. It is a nightmare. I am totally serious when I say that you could actually throw a pot with the dirt. When we till, it turns into hard clods that just rattle around your hoe making you so mad that you could actually pitch those clods at anyone who even doubted the depth of the clayness!

WATER!!! WATER!!

To make things even more needful as far as MORE garden area, Katrina and Joy had went to town to buy me some seed potatoes and onion sets. When they get to the store, the guy is overcome with seed potatoes! He offers them a 50 lb bag, with a BOGO deal!  Trina, being her mothers daughter, comes home with 100 pounds of seed potatoes! To be fair, she did call first, but I am sure knowing the answer. I mean FREE TATER! Who would say no to that? Not I! I now needed a tater patch. A big tater patch...
We had already decided that we wanted to expand our horizons, and till up a few more garden plots.... But! I was pretty nervous because taking totally awesome grass, and tilling it up gives me hives! After all, what if the dirt was the same?! What if it was still clay-e?! What if it washed, and made a huge mess of the yard?!? What if!?!? I could pass out just thinking about all the things that COULD happen.

The INHUMANITY!!

 So, one day while I was inside, Pud'nin just went outside, leaped on his trusty tractor, and tilled me a spot. I was a bit nervous when I saw it, and I admit I was a bit itchy. It looked great, but....what if?!
But, we forged ahead.
But, this digging thing is addictive, and like most farm things, is one enough? Is two enough?! What about THREE! Since I had gotten my hives under control, and the world had not ended because we had tilled up the grass, we decided to till yet ANOTHER garden spot! This one is even bigger than the original garden area!! Woot!

The original area, AKA the clay mine!

This is the third spot, ignore the grass, been too wet to till!

The second area where I figured out the world will go on even  if I destroy the grass.

It has been SO awesome having all that dirt, all the possibilities. We planted onions, radishes, tomatoes and cucumbers! We planted potatoes, green beans, horticulture beans and watermelons. We planted until there was not a single inch of unseeded dirt. It.Was.Awesome.
Well, unless you count that I threw out my back and I am still not able to walk totally right, it was awesome! Someone had to take one for the team, so what is a little back pain...or alot of back pain. Debilitating back pain actually. Looking back, if you decide to triple your garden space, you might wanna stretch a bit first, it can be a bit of a buzz kill when you are laying flat on your back crying like a girl for days!

But, it was worth it because now I have so much stuff growing that when it all comes in I will be under mountains of produce! Acres of squash, billions of tomatoes!! I can't wait to start eating and canning all sorts of yumminess. We ate so much of my stash last winter that I will be one busy woman this summer. This is the part of being a throwback in time. Feeding my family from the land and from the work that I do myself as a labor of love! There is nothing better than popping open a jar of home canned goodies. Or being able to give someone a gift of summer deliciousness in the middle of December.

Yummy!

Did anyone else decide to go big or go home? Expand a garden? Take on a new project that will make things way better for yourself and your family? If so, I sure hope you are as excited as we are with our venture into mega gardening!

Mr. Moogurgles and The Oh So Scary Day!

I have been slacking! I swore I would post at least every week and this spring has been SO busy! There is no way to catch up in one post, so I will touch on a few of the highlights here on the farm. But bear in mind, if I ramble, I am having to take medicine for a back injury!
First off we have managed to get not one, but three gardens tilled and planted! I am so excited because that means more for for us to put up for the winter.

The apples and other fruit trees did manage to keep their fruit through all of the freezy temperatures, which also makes me very happy! I am totally out of blackberry jam and cowboy candy, so come on little plants! Winter makes me so darn droopy, so when we get to garden and see all the green plants poking up through the dirt, I could not be any happier!
We also had a huge issue with cow love earlier this month! Flossie needed a man, and Mr. Moogurgles was more than happy to fulfill her every dream. But in the process he hated anyone and everyone who even looked at his woman!
Roger and I go to feed one morning, and he has jumped the fence.  I figured this out when I rounded the barn he greeted me with a roar from the middle of Flossies pen! Ok...I yelled at Pud'nin that we had a problem! Mr. M. did not like Ellie. At all! So he was busy trying to toss her over the moon! How rude! We did manage to whisk her out, after he tried several times to punt Pud'nin!
So, here we are, with a amorous bull, in with our cow. I have to milk her. There is no choice. Pud'nin is so brave! He distracts Mr. Moogurgles with a bucket of feed. (Obviously Mr. M. is a typical male), which he promptly butts with his head after grabbing a nibble! I grab Flossie, and we run to the barn. Mr. M. Is NOT happy...We start milking Flossie and we hear his bellowing out in the pen. I am very nervous, after all, I have seen the running of the bulls on television! Plus, my shirt was red!! I was doomed!!
I sneak to the back of the barn, lay flat and look under the wall...I do NOT see his feet! O.M.G! I tiptoe to the front of the barn, slip out the front door, pressed against the wall...sneaking, ever so quietly sneaking..Just as I peep around the edge I see the blue feed bucket flying through the air and hear a roar from Mr. Moogurgles!! Believe me, I did not waste time getting back inside the barn! I yell at Pud'nin. " He is out!!" We quietly close the sliding door on the barn, and click the latches.

Now we wait. We have the object of his affection, in the barn, and he knows it.
I am now standing with Flossie, on her lead right behind the closed door, and then I hear it...then I see it!  He is snorting, UNDER the door! Dust is flying up in the air, he bellows...Flossie, betrays us with a MOO!!! I tell her she is a traitor, darn love sick cow!!
We hatch a plan. Desperate times call for desperate measures! We want to live!! We will wait for him to go back around the barn, then we will open the door. Then I will run with Flossie to the gate, getting her IN the pasture. If all works well, he will then see her, run through the gate, and voila, all is well.
We are holding our breath, waiting for our opportunity. Finally I hear him attacking the blue bucket again, so I know he is around the side of the barn. Ever so slowly, we open the door...I make a break for it while Roger goes to make sure Mr. M. is not coming.  I open the gate and get Flossie to lumber in the pasture. Then I hear it....the pounding of hooves!
At this point I realize the flaw in our plan....I am now IN the pasture, holding the gate, with Flossie on her lead. IN THE PASTURE. To get out, without shaking the hoof of the bull, I will have to either go through 4 strands of hotwire, or over the gate. I look up, he is still coming, I am yelling at Pud'nin, unhook the hotwire, get the gate, unhook the wire!!! He is running back and forth trying to do what I said...I was looking at the strands of fence, they were so close together...I am not a small woman. To get out, I was gona have to straddle an electric fence. Or, maybe this?

 Hmmm, not a pleasant thought, but, the other option was to manage to jump on a swinging gate, at the same time a really mad, lust blinded bull, came bellowing through, while letting Flossie off her lead. After one more consideration of the parts of my body that might be zapped by the fence, I chose the gate hurdle. Amazingly, I made it over, and slammed the gate. Never think that a fat older lady cannot get her booty off the ground with enough motivation! A raging bull on one side, and getting your nether region zapped by an electric fence, instant motivation!!
Now we have yet another problem. Flossie had to be milked, twice a day, plus Ellie has to nurse, at least twice a day. Mr. Moogurgles, could not have cared less about either of our problems, he had his own wooing and mooing to tend with.
So twice a day, we had to have one of the guys, or sometimes two, stand guard with a hot stick, while we stole Flossie for a few minutes. He stood at the fence, bellowing, and literally kicking dust over his back like a cartoon bull!

 That, was the longest week ever! I can only hope, that he managed to do his job, and Flossie is with calf. If not, we are in for another Rodeo in about 2 weeks! HELP!
Hey! Don't be afraid to leave a comment, I would love to hear from anyone who reads the posts! :)