First off we have managed to get not one, but three gardens tilled and planted! I am so excited because that means more for for us to put up for the winter.
The apples and other fruit trees did manage to keep their fruit through all of the freezy temperatures, which also makes me very happy! I am totally out of blackberry jam and cowboy candy, so come on little plants! Winter makes me so darn droopy, so when we get to garden and see all the green plants poking up through the dirt, I could not be any happier!
We also had a huge issue with cow love earlier this month! Flossie needed a man, and Mr. Moogurgles was more than happy to fulfill her every dream. But in the process he hated anyone and everyone who even looked at his woman!
Roger and I go to feed one morning, and he has jumped the fence. I figured this out when I rounded the barn he greeted me with a roar from the middle of Flossies pen! Ok...I yelled at Pud'nin that we had a problem! Mr. M. did not like Ellie. At all! So he was busy trying to toss her over the moon! How rude! We did manage to whisk her out, after he tried several times to punt Pud'nin!
So, here we are, with a amorous bull, in with our cow. I have to milk her. There is no choice. Pud'nin is so brave! He distracts Mr. Moogurgles with a bucket of feed. (Obviously Mr. M. is a typical male), which he promptly butts with his head after grabbing a nibble! I grab Flossie, and we run to the barn. Mr. M. Is NOT happy...We start milking Flossie and we hear his bellowing out in the pen. I am very nervous, after all, I have seen the running of the bulls on television! Plus, my shirt was red!! I was doomed!!
I sneak to the back of the barn, lay flat and look under the wall...I do NOT see his feet! O.M.G! I tiptoe to the front of the barn, slip out the front door, pressed against the wall...sneaking, ever so quietly sneaking..Just as I peep around the edge I see the blue feed bucket flying through the air and hear a roar from Mr. Moogurgles!! Believe me, I did not waste time getting back inside the barn! I yell at Pud'nin. " He is out!!" We quietly close the sliding door on the barn, and click the latches.
Now we wait. We have the object of his affection, in the barn, and he knows it.
I am now standing with Flossie, on her lead right behind the closed door, and then I hear it...then I see it! He is snorting, UNDER the door! Dust is flying up in the air, he bellows...Flossie, betrays us with a MOO!!! I tell her she is a traitor, darn love sick cow!!
We hatch a plan. Desperate times call for desperate measures! We want to live!! We will wait for him to go back around the barn, then we will open the door. Then I will run with Flossie to the gate, getting her IN the pasture. If all works well, he will then see her, run through the gate, and voila, all is well.
We are holding our breath, waiting for our opportunity. Finally I hear him attacking the blue bucket again, so I know he is around the side of the barn. Ever so slowly, we open the door...I make a break for it while Roger goes to make sure Mr. M. is not coming. I open the gate and get Flossie to lumber in the pasture. Then I hear it....the pounding of hooves!
At this point I realize the flaw in our plan....I am now IN the pasture, holding the gate, with Flossie on her lead. IN THE PASTURE. To get out, without shaking the hoof of the bull, I will have to either go through 4 strands of hotwire, or over the gate. I look up, he is still coming, I am yelling at Pud'nin, unhook the hotwire, get the gate, unhook the wire!!! He is running back and forth trying to do what I said...I was looking at the strands of fence, they were so close together...I am not a small woman. To get out, I was gona have to straddle an electric fence. Or, maybe this?
Hmmm, not a pleasant thought, but, the other option was to manage to jump on a swinging gate, at the same time a really mad, lust blinded bull, came bellowing through, while letting Flossie off her lead. After one more consideration of the parts of my body that might be zapped by the fence, I chose the gate hurdle. Amazingly, I made it over, and slammed the gate. Never think that a fat older lady cannot get her booty off the ground with enough motivation! A raging bull on one side, and getting your nether region zapped by an electric fence, instant motivation!!
Now we have yet another problem. Flossie had to be milked, twice a day, plus Ellie has to nurse, at least twice a day. Mr. Moogurgles, could not have cared less about either of our problems, he had his own wooing and mooing to tend with.
So twice a day, we had to have one of the guys, or sometimes two, stand guard with a hot stick, while we stole Flossie for a few minutes. He stood at the fence, bellowing, and literally kicking dust over his back like a cartoon bull!
That, was the longest week ever! I can only hope, that he managed to do his job, and Flossie is with calf. If not, we are in for another Rodeo in about 2 weeks! HELP!
Hey! Don't be afraid to leave a comment, I would love to hear from anyone who reads the posts! :)
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